Tommy & Cody got Baby Fever!

Hi there! We are Tommy & Cody, and if the fundraiser name didn't give it away — we are going to have a baby! Tommy was seven months into a solo trip around the world when, somewhere in China, he drunkenly upgraded his Tinder app to remove the distance filter and matched with me all the way in Sydney, Australia. A few months later he showed up down under for a beer, we talked for hours, and — too nervous to admit what was obviously happening — agreed to meet again in the Philippines three months later. A whirlwind romance ensued and we were married just six months after that. I hadn't even met his family yet! That was eight years ago. We've since seen a good chunk of the world on a shoestring, immigrated across the Pacific, bought a condo in Downtown St Louis, and built a life we are really proud of. We have careers we love, an amazing, supportive community, and reef aquariums that are frankly too elaborate for two grown adults. By almost every measure, we are ready for the next step in our family journey.  What comes next, it turns out, costs $100,000+. We're gay — which means when we decided we wanted to become parents, we also  had to determine the why, and how. We thought carefully about every path and chose surrogacy because we wanted to give our child the simplest possible start within an already complicated family dynamic. Our family will already sit outside the norm — two dads and all plus the added international legalities of a dual nationalism. That's enough for a kid to navigate. Surrogacy felt like the most intentional, protective choice we could make for them. What people don't tell you is just how much that choice costs — not just financially, though financially it is genuinely staggering, but emotionally. The research, the paperwork, the legal complexity, the uncertainty and constant conflict between being financially responsible and wanting to be dads. It has felt like a second full-time job on top of two already demanding careers. We have been at this for years, we are signed with our agency, and we are incredibly excited (and maybe slightly terrified). Here's where your support actually goes. Every step that might happen naturally for others has a price tag attached for us: sperm testing and collection, egg donor purchase and retrieval, embryo creation and genetic testing, embryo transfer, surrogate payments and medical care, agency fees, legal fees, birth certificate, and travel. Every single line item is non-negotiable. There is no cutting corners on a child. And there is no ceiling to cost - as with any pregnancy journey, there is potential for unexpected problems that all come with financial implications. Your support will also help allow us to pursue a second - we know we are going to be responsible for a significant amount of money, but without help, we can not afford to consider a second. We would love to have two kids, and provide a sibling to share the journey with, but can only do so with help of others.  Here's what we know for certain: we are going to be great dads! Our immediate family is so ready to welcome a new member. Our closest friends are all having kids right now too. We have thought about this from every angle, and we cannot wait. Now we just need your support to help make this family a reality.  If you can give — anything at all — we are grateful beyond what a fundraising page can express. If you can't, share this with someone who might. And if you just read this whole thing out of curiosity — same energy, and thank you for being here. — Tommy & Cody