Future Geske

What an awful ride this has been. I did what I was told to do- wait to have kids until married and financially ready. Well, Mother Nature never got that memo. Two years ago, my OB found a large uterine fibroid tumor during my first ultrasound. Unfortunately, I began miscarrying that afternoon at 6 weeks. It was then a fight to save my uterus. She allowed me three months to try to get pregnant, as the surgery would likely result in a hysterectomy. It would be a difficult and painful pregnancy, but it would be my first and only child. This was when it finally occurred to me that I don’t have time. Surgery was thankfully a success, and the day I was cleared to try again, I stopped smoking. Two years have passed, with the awful search for a donor. But, my time to easily reproduce has passed, and now need intervention. I had saved money when I found I was pregnant two years ago, and could pay for half of my IVF treatment out of pocket. Texas doesn’t require insurance to cover fertility treatment. But, it wasn’t successful. I have depleted all of my resources for a one time payment needed. The doctor is hopeful for a second try, as I had responded better than anticipated to the first treatment. I’m not ready to permanently grieve this loss. I did what I was supposed to do. Avoid single parenthood, be financially secure, wait until marriage- and now I walk away because the time has passed? It’s a hard thing to ask others to help in this way. I have my donor picked, and my mother is beyond ecstatic about him, and has grieved my losses with me. I’d like her to be able to meet her grandchild. But, I need help in doing so.