Help the Felders Have a Baby!

1. Next Steps Update

   January 22, 2026(edited)

   We wanted to share a little update on where our hearts and plans are right now After a lot of reflection, tears, conversations, and love, we’ve decided to move forward using a donor egg as our next step toward growing our family. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it’s one that brings us a renewed sense of hope. We’ll also be starting over in the process of finding a new surrogate. While that feels daunting, we’re choosing to believe that the right path is still unfolding, even if it looks different than we once imagined. We’re incredibly grateful for the few amazing people who so selflessly considered carrying for us. That kind of kindness and love is something we’ll never forget. Our donor egg cycle begins in February, and we’re holding onto hope that we’ll be able to share another positive update by the end of the month. This journey has stretched us in ways we never expected, but we’re still here, still hopeful, and still moving forward. Thank you to everyone who continues to support us, check in on us, and hold space for our story.

2. This isn’t the post we hoped to write

   October 28, 2025(edited)

   Our final embryo transfer failed. After years of trying, hoping, waiting, and giving everything we had — this was our last chance to have a biological child. And now, that chapter has ended. We’re heartbroken. There’s no other way to say it. The grief runs deep — for the dreams we had, the life we pictured, and the tiny heartbeat we never got to meet. We’re taking time to sit in it, to honor it, and to try to find the energy to begin again. Our next step towards adding to our family will be a new kind of journey. We don’t know what it will look like yet, and we’re trying to gather the strength to move forward. But we do know that love will lead us there, just as it always has. Thank you to everyone who has walked beside us — through hope, heartbreak, and everything in between. Your love continues to hold us up when we can’t quite do it ourselves.

3. Embryo Transfer Update

   August 26, 2025(edited)

   “When the weight of the wait seems unbearable, remember that often the best things take time.” – Christian Bosse We so wish we had a better update today. Yesterday, we received news that our embryo transfer was not successful. It’s hard to put into words the heaviness we feel after so much hope, prayer, and anticipation. The waiting can feel like the hardest part, especially when the outcome isn’t what you dreamed it would be. But we hold onto the reminder that sometimes the best things take time. We are grateful beyond measure for our incredible surrogate who has carried this journey with so much love and compassion. And we are thankful for every message, prayer, donation, and act of kindness that has lifted us through each step. We still have one more embryo, and with it, another chance. While the road feels long and uncertain, and our hearts are little broken right now… we remain hopeful for the family we’ve dreamed of. Thank you for standing beside us through the ups and downs and we truly feel your love carrying us forward.

4. Today was a very special day

   August 15, 2025(edited)

   Our embryo transfer took place this morning, and our incredible surrogate, Haley, carried this moment with such grace and love. Words can’t begin to express the gratitude we feel for her. Watching our little boy embryo be transferred filled me with so many emotions—it feels surreal to finally be at this point in our journey, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. We are also deeply grateful for every single person who has supported us along the way. Every message, kind word, encouragement, and act of love has meant more than we can ever say. You’ve helped carry us to this moment, and we truly feel your hearts alongside ours. Now begins the 10-day wait to find out if this little miracle has taken hold. We’re holding onto hope, picturing the moment we can share the news we’ve been dreaming of, and reminding ourselves that patience is part of the process. Thank you for walking beside us—your love means the world.

5. Confirmed Embryo Transfer Date

   August 8, 2025(edited)

   We’re so excited to share that we met with our amazing surrogate in person, and we now have a date for our embryo transfer—August 15th! This day has been circled on our hearts for so long, and knowing it’s just around the corner feels surreal and whirlwind of emotions. After the transfer, we’ll face the agonizing part of waiting to find out if it worked. We’re holding on to hope and picturing the moment we hear the words we’ve been dreaming of. Thank you for continuing to walk beside us—we truly feel your love carrying us forward.

6. We Have Legal Clearance!

   July 14, 2025(edited)

   We’re so thrilled to share an exciting update in our surrogacy journey—we’ve officially received legal clearance! This is a huge milestone, and we’re filled with gratitude for all the love that’s helped us reach this point. Our amazing surrogate will soon begin the medication protocol, which includes hormone injections to prepare her body for a hopeful embryo transfer. She’ll be closely monitored over the coming weeks with labs and ultrasounds to ensure everything is on track. If all goes well, the embryo transfer will happen in August—a moment we’ve dreamed of for so long. This journey hasn’t been easy, but your encouragement and kindness have carried us through. Every thoughtful message, shared story, and warm prayer has meant more than we can express. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts—and if you feel moved, we’d be so grateful if you shared our fundraising page to help us reach others who might want to follow and support our journey. (https://giftofparenthood.org/fundraiser/help-the-felders-have-a-baby/) With love and deep appreciation, Jake & Lacey

7. We Officially Matched With A Surrogate!

   May 29, 2025(edited)

   Hi everyone, We’re writing today with some incredibly special news—news that has been years in the making, filled with hope, heartbreak, determination, and love. After a long road, we are overjoyed to share that we have officially matched with a surrogate! This is a moment we’ve dreamed about for so long. It’s hard to put into words what it feels like to finally see this piece of the puzzle come together. Finding someone who is excited and determine to help us make our dreams come true—has been emotional, humbling, and a blessing beyond measure. What This Means for Us Having a surrogate is a huge milestone, but it’s also just the beginning of a new chapter. From here, we’ll begin the medical clearance process, finalize legal agreements, and prepare for embryo transfer. We are hopeful, nervous, and deeply grateful all at once. This journey continues to stretch and grow us in ways we never expected. We’re learning to stay present through every small step forward, while holding on tightly to our vision of the future—a future that includes a child we already love so much, even before they exist. The Financial Reality As beautiful as this chapter is, it also comes with substantial costs—surrogacy can exceed $100,000, and none of that is not covered by insurance. We’ve been working hard to prepare, and while we’ve made progress, we know we can’t do it all on our own. It’s not easy to ask for help, but we know we’re stronger when we lean into our community. How You Can Help Share this page with those who might want to help Donate if you’re able—every bit brings us closer. We know that every family is built differently, and this is ours. It’s imperfect and beautiful and powered by love—and we are so thankful to have you with us on the way. With all our hearts, Jake & Lacey Felder

8. Surrogate Update

   October 11, 2024(edited)

   As many of you may have seen on our social media. We have been hit with another setback in this journey. We found out that the amazing and beautiful Lanea will not be able to be our surrogate due to some things that are totally out of anyone’s control. Although this news has been very difficult to process we aren’t giving up and we are just so grateful that Lanea was even willing to do it in the first place. This girl is one of my best friends and she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders since 2nd grade. Nothing will ever change the love I have for her. Love you so much Naya. As of right now we have chosen a local surrogate agency and are trying to wrap our brains around the overwhelming expenses to come. The estimated cost of the remaining aspects of this journey is now over $150,000. We will continue to exhaust all avenues to help us reach this goal, but we unfortunately are again in need of help. As many of you can relate, we are really struggling with the fact that we are in the position and wish with all our hearts that we didn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t need to ask for help. We read a quote the other day that really helped us get through some of the emotions we have been battling through this process. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"Your struggles do not define your worth.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\" Although we have a lot of struggles, we know in our hearts and soul that we are meant to be parents. When we were recently asked why we wanted to be parents, here is how we responded: Lacey - This is a very emotional question for me. I feel like I have so much love and wisdom to give to a child. Going through the life I have had, has made me grow up a lot faster than most. This has allowed me to learn lessons that most don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t learn until much later in life. I want to help raise a confident, kind, loving and compassionate person. My motherly instinct is very strong and its not something I can easily explain. It feels like there is a empty space in my soul that has been reserved for a child, and nothing else can fill it. Jake - I have always had a strong desire to be a father. I have always imagined reading books to my kids using silly voices or teaching them how to play sports, as well as teaching them what is right and wrong and helping foster good morals and beliefs. Most of all I feel like Lacey and I will provide a loving, supportive environment that provides our kids with all the tools they need to be successful for their futures. We hope that the love and kindness we have in our hearts for a child shows in our words and we are so grateful for any amount that you are willing to give. Sincerely, Lacey & Jake Felder

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