To serve and protect our country is one war, but to then find out we are unable to start our tiny family without some extra help is a personal battle even more devastating. Infertility sucks and I’m starting to find out that I’m not alone. Yep, I said it. It sucks. And I can say that because I’m in the midst of that. For those who may not know us, my name is Morgan and my husband's name is Ryan and I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Through social media I’ve noticed the theme, “I Am Not Alone” and it really struck a chord with me. I was inspired and decided to finally share my story. Although I still see myself putting up armor, adding “fluff” to pictures, and omitting the truth from my story in order to make it seem like I’ve got it all together. Well, guess what? I’m nowhere close to having it all together. I thought that if I found my person and when we were ready to grow our family it would happen just like that. We made the decision to place our focus on other areas of our life and maybe a baby would happen through it all. One of the biggest changes we made was joining the military and feeling a need to do our part for the greater good. Going through one deployment and possibly a second one soon, we didn’t know that time really wouldn’t be on our side and the struggle would become a bigger issue both biologically and financially. A little about us is that we are currently stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas. One barrier is that there are only six military fertility clinics in the country and the closest fertility clinic is Brooke Army Medical Center in Fort Sam Houston, Texas. This clinic is around 11 hours away, but has available spots for IVF. Appointments are on a space-available basis and aren’t guaranteed. With access to medical care we went in search of answers. Infertility can be a challenge for any family, but for active duty dual military couples, there is an additional set of obstacles, which Ryan and I would soon become experts on. This is why we have recently made the decision to PCS (permanent change of station) to Fort Bliss, Texas so the distance is cut in half. Our expected report date is May 20th, 2022. With unforeseen circumstances we may have to deploy to Poland, which could push our timeline out even further. Tricare health insurance will cover infertility assessment and costly testing, monitoring and medications, because those can be combined with “natural conception.” Unfortunately they will not cover any costs or expenses for IVF or IUI. The pandemic has presented a lot of challenges with finding care to only have a diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.” My body is functioning, but it doesn’t seem interested in producing a baby without some help. After my fallopian tubes were examined for any blockages, I found out that my right fallopian tube is blocked and I was approved to proceed with IVF. The out-of-pocket cost for IVF at a military fertility clinic will average around $7,500 for each attempt but can be as much as $14,000 if it includes freezing embryos (a real possibility for us when facing a deployment). Out-of-pocket expenses is our biggest barrier when dealing with infertility. You see, my husband and I have been struggling with unexplained infertility for three long years. I’ve learned a TON of beautiful things in these past three years and yes, my faith has blossomed more beautifully than a rose garden, but today I just need to shout to the world that infertility is hard. Infertility makes me feel incapable, incomplete, insensitive, inadequate, and inconsolable. Yep, all of those things and a ton more. It sucks how infertility has robbed me of the joy of spontaneously getting pregnant and how heartbreaking it is to grieve month after month. Infertility doesn’t care how old I am or if I exercised today. I’ve tried every technique, old wives tale, and recommendation. Eat the pineapple core, drink the cranberry juice, stand on your head, use this cream, swallow these vitamins, try acupuncture, sprinkle this on your food, and yoga. I know what it’s like to spend weeks after weeks in a doctor’s office. I’ve had multiple tests and I’ve endured invasive and painful procedures. I’ve had my follicles measured, HSG, ultrasounds investigating my lining, ovulation medication boosters, genetics testing, saline sonograms, and blood work drawn. I track my cycles, ritually take my temperature, and I’ve peed on a stick more times than I can count. I know how badly it hurts when you give it your all, doing the right things, and hoping that this is it, but it still fails. I know how it feels to put on a happy face while inside you’re screaming, crying, and wondering. I understand the struggle, the heartache, the roller coaster, and the guilt. But, the good news is that there is HOPE. Not only for my tiny family, but for anyone else struggling with this battle too. Infertility doesn’t have to define who I am and it doesn’t have to be my label. I know that I am brave, strong, and beautiful. I’m in hopes that every woman can feel this someday too and to know that they’re not alone. I’m sharing our story because we're hoping for our plot to change, allow us to conceive the greatest blessing, be the best birthday gift ever and your help would allow us to win our battle.